8/13/10

Southern Comfort (2001)

Kate Davis created this HBO documentary that won the Grand Jury Prize at the 2001 Sundance Festival. The film tells the story of Robert Eads, a female-to-male transexual dying from ovarian cancer. Pipe-smoking, leather-lined and bearded with a wirey body, he refers to himself as "a hillbilly and proud of it." Robert tells about his life and how he found peace living his trailer on the land in the back hills of Georgia.

We meet various transexual friends, who he considers his "chosen family." As we learn about Robert's journey to become a man, we also hear the stories of people in his community. Much of the filming took place leading up to the transexual community's big convention in Atlanta--Southern Comfort.

Robert was born a woman, gave birth to two sons, and lived the life of a lesbian until beginning gender transition at age thirty-five. The cancer was quite advanced when he began seeking medical help and after being turned away by two dozen doctors, he finally found some treatment, but it was too late. Medical care is difficult to obtain for people in the transgender community...sometimes worse for female-to-males. This story of being stigmatized in numerous ways is a common theme here.

We meet Lola, Robert's tall stylish male-to-female girlfriend who still presents himself as male at work. We also meet Max, a younger female-to-male who Robert had taken under his wing and calls his son. During the filming, Robert's parents visit and we learn how they have grown to accept his situation over time. We also meet one of Robert's sons and his little boy. Robert is especially touched to have this grandson who knows him only as Grandpa. The son admits that he continues to relate to Robert as his mother, despite the transformed appearance.

These complex relationships are fascinating to learn about. Generally, people who feel the need to pursue the gender reassignment are working people who struggle to save money for the surgery and tend to end up in undesirable medical situations, often with no medical follow-up care. Robert mentions one person who lived in a tent and saved all his money for years in order to pursue gender reassignment. Robert speaks candidly about his own surgeries, hormones and psychological aspects of this experience.

While this issue may be difficult for many to grasp and take seriously, the film offers so much compassion and wisdom. People often have enough difficulties finding kindred spirits in life--even in busy urban areas--it is a wonder that in the back woods of the south an entire community has been found by Robert Eads. They care of one another. They have love and friendship. It's a beautiful story. I have been drawn to other such stories...Middlesex, Trans-Sister Radio, TransAmerica, Prodigal Sons.

We watch him in his weakened state thrilled to be dressed up for the convention dinner dance with his lovely Lola. He calls it "the prom that never was." Robert passed away soon after that evening.

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